Long Way Back To You
by raindropcatcher
Summary: What if Eliza Jane wouldn't have decided to move away in "Laura Ingalls Wilder"? What if Laura would have left for Radener and the months would have passed away? Would Almanzo and Laura still have ended up together?
1. Apart

**Author's note: **Normally I only write fanfictions which fit the canon, because only that way they seem possible and so they are as real as the episodes themselves.

But there is one episode I have a big problem with – "Laura Ingalls Wilder" – because I found myself asking "but what if Eliza Jane _wouldn't_ have moved away?". I don't like that Laura and Almanzo don't find together because they worked their problems out and talked to each other, but because the problem was simply _gone_.

_Those two_ should be the solution not his sister –_ in my eyes._

And so I wrote my very first "what if?" fanfiction to find an answer to my question.

If you don't like these sort of stories – I DID write another one which fit the canon and solve my problem, but I wanted to publish this one first, because it's longer and I guess more exciting and now that it's finally autumn – I found that more appropriate...

I hope you enjoy it! :)

* * *

**Long Way Back To You**

* * *

Laura sat in the stage coach that would bring her back to Walnut Grove.

In less than half an hour she would see her family again after four terrible long months.

But even though she has missed her Ma and Pa and siblings very much in all her time in Radener - she wished she wouldn't have agreed to celebrate Christmas with them.

_What a Christmas would it be anyway? _She couldn't think of a sadder one.

**He would be there.**

She would see Almanzo for the first time after four months. When she had left Walnut Grove in August she had been sure she would be able to forget him as soon as she would start her new life in a new town. But nothing has changed.

He was in her thoughts every day and every night. And if anything, she felt as if the pain in her heart _grew_ from day to day.

Everytime she saw a happy couple she had to force herself not to cry.

Everytime she saw a buckboard with a load of grain approaching the school, she wished it would be Almanzo who changed his mind and wanted her back.

_But he didn't want her back._

And her heart broke every time all over again.

Laura looked at her gloves, so the other passengers wouldn't see the tears shimmering in her eyes. She had never talked about him in her letters to her family and neither had they, but she was sure that Almanzo had moved on - contrary to her.

She knew she would see him tomorrow in church; laughing, smiling, maybe even with another woman on his arms.

Her stomach ached at that thought. Laura was sure that the women in Walnut Grove must have felt as if would be Christmas already when Almanzo was *finally* no longer engaged with her. She could even see it in her inner eyes how they must have wooed him.

Laura made a face and forced herself to think about something else.

Caroline and Charles waited by the post-office for the coming arrival of her daughter. They both were so excited about having Laura finally back in their arms and yet they knew that something was wrong. Laura has never mentioned Almanzo in one of her letters, but her being away for so long - even though there _had been_ other free days - made it obvious that she _hasn't_ gotten over it.

But they wouldn't have believed that anyway.

Her parents knew how much she loved Almanzo and that being apart from him wouldn't be enough to get him out of her heart.

* * *

Almanzo laid in his bed, his arms crossed behind his head.

It was time to get up, but he didn't want to.

**He didn't want to see her today.**

Thoughts of Laura had kept him awake all night long. He was afraid of seeing her.

Afraid she could come with somebody else, looking more beautiful and happier than she ever has with him.

Afraid of seeing how she has moved on with her life ... _while he was stuck in memories with her._

He sat up and rubbed his face. He hadn't asked his sister if she knew if Laura would come or not. He knew it anyway. She had been gone now for four months, but never would she celebrate Christmas without her beloved family.

He once had been part of it too. He once had been loved by her…

Almanzo had tried everything these previous days to become sick. He had chopped wood outdoor without his coat on. He worked in the barn with wet hairs. But nothing had happened. He was as well as always.

Now he had no excuse _not_ to go to the church today.

Eliza Jane watched her brother silently while he hitched up the team. Never had it took him so long as today. She knew that he wanted to delay the trip to the church. He hoped that everybody would already sit so he didn't have to see Laura's face.

Almanzo has forbidden his sister to talk about her, but she knew that she was on his mind all the time.

She didn't recognize her brother anymore. Before Laura has moved away, it has always been Almanzo who cheered his sister up, who was sure that everything would work out somehow.

But now he didn't even smile anymore. At least not how he used to smile before. _It never touched his eyes._

And how could he? Eliza Jane still couldn't get over their break-up. Never in her life has she seen a happier couple than her brother and Laura.

Never has she been so sure that two people are meant to be like them two.

_And now it should be over?_


	2. Prevention

Laura exhaled relieved as she didn't see Almanzo or Eliza Jane anywhere, when her family had reached the town. Maybe they wouldn't even come. Laura didn't know if she should be happy about that or cry.

She had missed him so much...

Even the Christmases when she had still been hoping he would finally see her as a woman had been better than this one. At least she had been able to talk to him back then. She hadn't even really realized what he meant for her life until that day when her pa has told her that Almanzo suffered pneumonia.

A life without Almanzo had been an impossible thought for Laura and it still was.

Without him she felt as if she wouldn't really be alive, as if every joy had been taken away from her.

_Where was he when she cried?_

_Where was he when she needed someone who embraced her?_

_Where was he when she wanted to feel his lips on hers again?_

Laura has taken a seat in the front row together with her sisters Carrie and Grace. Reverend Alden has already begun with his ceremony but there was still no sign from Almanzo.

Suddenly a cold wind blew through the building and without turning around, Laura knew that it was Almanzo who came in. She held her breath and her heartbeat fastened. Her back felt hot under his gaze.

* * *

Almanzo spotted her right away.

She could have been a hundred metres away and she would still be the first thing he'd see.

Laura sat next to her little sisters, so if she had a new beau, he hasn't come with her to Walnut Grove. What sort of relationship should that be, where you didn't spend Christmas together?

He removed his hat, but his gaze never let go of Laura. Just one year ago, he would have only walked towards her, he would have taken the seat next to her, felt the warmth of her body against his and taken her hand in his for the whole ceremony.

Now they were miles apart. He wasn't part of her life anymore.

When the ceremony was over, Laura just kept sitting, while her family left the building. She didn't want to leave the church right away and see him. Nellie and Percival had invited everybody to come over to the restaurant to drink some tea and eat Christmas-pastry but she hoped she could avoid facing Almanzo if she would follow her family a few minutes later.

"Laura."

Laura looked surprised up, abruptly ripped out of her thoughts. Reverend Alden smiled down at her "Did you want to talk with me?"

"Oh, I, I just wanted to sit here for a while. I missed this building so much", she replied and Reverend Alden took a seat beside her.

"Yes, it's a mystery how a building can mean so much to us. I wanted to talk to you anyway, Laura. If you don't mind..."

"Oh no, of course not!" Laura smiled at him. Now she wouldn't need an excuse for coming to Nellie's later than all the others.

"Even though your parents have always informed me about you, I'm quite curious about your new life. We sure miss you here in Walnut Grove"

"Thank you, Reverend. I miss the town and the people here every day. But I like my job and I've made new friends in Radener…" Well, Laura didn't exactly make new friends, but she got along with the other teachers pretty well. She didn't want to sound sad.

Nobody should know how she missed her life here with her family … _and Almanzo._

* * *

Almanzo has told Eliza Jane he would follow her some minutes later, because he wanted to check on Barnum. Now he stood there beside his horse behind the church and didn't know what to do. He couldn't just leave, because his sister needed someone who would bring her home. And he certainly couldn't stand here beside Barnum for over an hour. Everybody would read something into it. But he wanted to spend as less time with Laura in one room as possible.

Seeing her again was as if somebody would have ripped his heart out of his ribcage. He imagined how life would be if he wouldn't have been so stupid to let her go. If he would have talked things out with her.

Now it was too late. He would fight if he knew that she could forgive him, but Laura didn't love him anymore. _How could she?_

And Almanzo wondered how he should go on with his life if this pain would never go away.

He patted Barnum one last time, "Good boy. I'll be back soon", and then made his way towards the restaurant. Just as he had reached the steps, his sister appeared on the front porch.

"Hi sis, are you leaving already?" Almanzo asked confused.

"Oh no. I forgot my gloves in the church. I wanted to get them before Reverend Alden is going to lock up."

"I can do that for you, Liza!" That would give him some minutes more without seeing Laura.

"Thank you", Eliza smiled gratefully at her younger brother before returning inside.

Slowly Almanzo made his way back to the church.

* * *

Laura smiled after her conversation with Reverend Alden, while she tied up her bonnet. She had missed all her friends here so much. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go to Nellie's. She would manage it somehow to sit with her back to Almanzo and could enjoy the talk with her family. Yes.

For the first time of the day feeling a little bit enthusiastic, Laura rushed her way down the steps, looking at the ground. Too late she saw the pair of shoes on the first step. As she stopped abruptly to avoid a collision, her boots slithered on the ice which had formed on the stairs.

Almanzo wrapped his arms reflexively around Laura as she fell into him and stopped breathing.

It felt like the world would have stopped turning as he held her that close to him.

Laura's heart made a skip before beating twice as fast. She didn't need to look up into his face to know who it was she stumbled into. She would always recognize Almanzo's scent. Nobody smelled as good as he did...

Feeling his arms around her was as if feeling the first drop of water after months full of thirst. It was wonderful on one hand, but on the other it reminded her painfully of was she had longed for since such a long time.

Slowly life came back into her and she moved away from him. His arms still on her back, she lifted her head hesitantly to look him into his eyes. "S-sorry", Laura barely managed to speak, hypnotized by the blue of his eyes.

"It's…it's alright", Almanzo softly replied lost in her honey-brown eyes. Has she ever looked as beautiful as she did today?

Laura made one step backwards, so his arms fell down at each side again. Instantly she felt cold without being close to him. Being afraid she could lose her control and telling him that she wanted him back, she almost fled as she made her way towards the restaurant.

Confused, Almanzo looked after her until Laura has vanished into the building. What should he make out of this? Did she act as if he would mean nothing to her? Almanzo shook his head and tried to clear his mind as well as possible. He had to get Eliza Jane's gloves.


	3. Unexpected encounter

**Author's note:** Even though I'm not very convinced of this story, I will try to complete it until Christmas since it takes play around that time of the year and I know how much _I_ hate it when I start to read a story and can't finish it.

If you find errors, please forgive me (great, now I have Bryan Adams stuck in my head ^^) but I'm just trying to upload it as fast as possible.

I hope you can still enjoy it a little bit and I wish you all a wonderful Christmas-Time :)

* * *

Today was Christmas Eve.

Ever since she stumbled into Almanzo's arms two days ago, Laura has hardly spoken a word to her family. Again and again she would see everything that had happened with her inner eye.

She could feel him again, smell him as if he'd be right beside her and she was sure her heart would be going to break.

The four months in Radener had been hard, but it had been nothing compared to this. She used to think she would be ready to face him, but she had been wrong.

_So wrong._

She ached for him with all her heart.

God! She's had it all! Why had she thrown it away? She had been his betrothed! She had been allowed to feel him whenever she wanted to. Kiss him. Being in his safe embrace...

And now?

_Now she felt so empty._

"Laura!" she lifted her head confused, abruptly ripped out of her thoughts.

"Laura, did you hear me?" her Ma asked irritated.

"Sorry, Ma. What did you say?"

"It would be nice if you could go together with Carrie into the forest and gather some nice fir branches and cones as decoration."

"Sure Ma…"

* * *

For some moments Caroline looked concerned at the closed door after Laura and Carrie had left the little house. Never in her life has she seen her daughter as desperate as she did now. All the light had vanished from her ever since she'd moved away.

Laura always used to be the fieriest one of her daughters - nothing could have kept her down - but ever since Almanzo and her broke off the engagement, it was as if something inside of her would have died…

* * *

"Laura?" After half an hour, Carrie and her older sister had already filled one of the baskets.

"Yeah?" Laura bent to gather some cones.

"I need to go to the outhouse…" Carrie admitted ashamed.

"Carrie! I just asked you before we have left home!"

"But I didn't need to go then…"

Laura sighed, "Alright, take the basket and go home. I'll fill the other one and will then return as well."

"Alright. Thank you!" The girl took the basked and started running towards their home.

* * *

Laura lost track of time while she wandered around searching branches. It felt good to be out there alone, letting the cold kill her thoughts.

Somehow she **had** to be able to get Almanzo Wilder out of her heart.

Somehow…

"Hi Laura!"

Laura let out a shriek and turned startled.

"Sorry," he chuckled, "I didn't wanna scare you."

"Jason…" Laura exhaled. _What was **he** doing out here?_

"I just met your sister. I was on my way over to your place but she told me I would find you here." The boy made a few steps towards Laura.

"Oh. Why did you wanna see me?" Laura still couldn't make out the situation.

It seemed like an eternity had passed since she had this crush on Jason and wanted to go with him to the barn-dance. Almost as if it would have been in another life…

After that evening, they hadn't really talked to each other much and when Almanzo moved to Walnut Grove, Laura didn't spend time with her school mates anymore except for her brother and Andy.

_So what could Jason possible want?_

"Well, I just wanted to ask if you would go on a sleigh ride with me tomorrow?"

"Oh. That's very nice Jason, but I want to spend Christmas with my family." Laura took the basket from the ground and turned her back to him, to continue her search.

"Oh, but!" Jason followed her ,"We can go any day you'd like!"

Laura turned and forced a smile, "To tell you the truth Jason, I don't feel much like making sleigh rides. I just want to stay with my family. I haven't seen them for so long."

The topic was closed for her. The term "_sleigh ride_" reminded her of all the times Almanzo used to take her on one. Both cuddled against each other, feeling the snow in their face and the warmth in their hearts…

But Jason didn't want to accept her answer. He made one step forward, so that he now stood very close to her.

_Too close_ in Laura's eyes.

"Why not? Don't you remember the barn-dance?"

"Of course I remember it. It was a really nice evening. But we were kids back then. It has nothing to do with now and I already told you that I want to spend the few days left with my family." She looked at him and found his eyes incredible cold. "If you excuse me, I got to go home now. I wish you a Merry-"

Jason interrupted her by grabbing her arm roughly.

Startled Laura let the basked fall to the ground, "Let go of me, Jason! You hurt me!"

Jason clenched his teeth, "I don't understand you Laura! What did I do wrong?!"

"Nothing, Jason, I just-" he grabbed her left fist and tore the cone she held there out of her hand. Laura cried as it ripped off her skin and the blood coloured the white snow. He threw the cone to the ground.

"Do you think you're something better now just because you live in the city?"

He now grabbed both of her fists to make sure that she couldn't escape. The first tears fell down Laura's cheek at that pain.

"Please, Jason…" she sobbed.

* * *

**Author's note:** There are two Jasons Laura had a crush on, but I'm not talking about the science-guy Jason but the a-little-bit-strange one in season 5.


	4. Salvation

Almanzo walked deeper and deeper into the forest, holding the axe in his hand. He inhaled the cold fresh winter air and was glad that his sister has given him a reason to leave the house. He needed to chop wood before the holiday and had forgotten it completely during the previous days.

_And the reason was her._

Just in a few days Laura would leave Walnut Grove again and maybe this time even until summer-break. How should he live without seeing her?

It had felt so good to have her back in his arms. It just felt so … _right_.

Yeah, that was the word.

Everything with Laura had always felt right.

_From the very beginning._

Their first conversation, her smile, every time they laughed together, their first kiss, all the other kisses that came after that… _it had always felt right._

But seeing her with this wall between them felt wrong. And Almanzo was sure that he would always think about it that way.

No, the time won't heal _that_ wound.

And there will be never another woman who would own his heart the way Laura did…

Almanzo stopped immediately as he thought he'd heard something. Has he imagined it? There it was again! He concentrated on the sound but couldn't make out what it was. Slowly he started following the noises.

Coming closer and closer Almanzo suddenly realized that someone was crying for help. He let the axe fall into the snow and started running.

Pushing aside branches, stumbling almost over some roots - nothing could distract him.

Finally he reached the clearing, breathing heavily. Almanzo's heart stopped beating for one second as it was Laura he found a hundred metres away from him. A boy around her age held her wrists, saying something to her Almanzo couldn't understand. Laura turned her face disgusted away from him, again and again trying to escape from his hold.

Never in his life has he seen Laura as helpless as now. "Beth…", he whispered, not realizing that it was the first time in months he used that special name. Almanzo felt how anger so strong like he had never experienced in his life before filled his body. His muscles tensed and with clenched teeth Almanzo raced towards them.

With a roar he charged Jason with the full force of his body, both crashing down to the ground. Before Jason could even realize what had just happened, Almanzo punched him with all his strenght in the face.

Blood pouring from his mouth into the snow, Jason had no chance against the much taller and stronger Almanzo who now straddled him. "DON'T YOU EVER DARE TO TOUCH HER AGAIN!"

He punched him once again, before pressing him with all his weight into the snow, forcing Jason to cry in pain. With one last glare, Almanzo let go of him.

As fast as he could Jason tried to stand up, the fear and haste causing him to slip and fall several times into the snow. Blood all over his face he turned frightened to see if Almanzo would follow him as he broke into a dead run.

* * *

Almanzo immediately rushed to Laura as soon as he'd let go of Jason, falling in front of her into the snow.

"Beth!"

Laura sobbed hysterically, tears falling incessantly and vanishing into the white of the snow while her head stayed bent. Almanzo gently touched both sides of her face, lifting it, so he could look into her eyes.

It broke his heart as he saw the fear in them.

"Beth", without thinking he kissed her short yet hard on the mouth.

"Are you alright?" he kissed her again, needing the touch as proof that she was safe with him.

Still in shock, Laura was neither able to answer nor to nod. That's when Almanzo noticed the red stains in the snow. He let go of her face to take her hand into his.

"Dear god. What did he do to you?" His voice was full of anger and almost broke. As he carefully touched her palm with his fingertips, Laura tensed up in pain.

He looked up, his eyes dancing questioningly between hers: "I'm sorry", he softly said.

Letting go of her hand, he hesitantly laid his arms around her, not sure if she would allow his touch. Laura fell immediately into him and buried her face into the warm material of his winter-coat, letting out a painful sob.

"Shhh", Almanzo tightened his embrace, stroking her hair again and again, mumbling comforting words.

* * *

After a time that felt like an eternity, Laura's crying ebbed slowly. Almanzo kissed her on the top of her head.

_He should have been with her. _He should have protected her. That was his only purpose and he'd come too late. He could never forgive himself for that.

Slowly he loosened his hold on her and Laura lifted her head hesitantly to look at him. Her eyes were puffy, traces of tears on her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs, his gaze never letting go of her eyes.

Before he could even think about it, Almanzo's mouth crashed down on hers again, capturing her lips in an intense kiss. He tasted the salt of her tears, still holding her head between his hands.

He kissed her all over her face - her cheeks, her eyelids, the corner of her mouth - before returning to her lips.

All the pain he'd experienced during these previous months, all the hours of missing her, all the anger because he hasn't been there sooner, laid inside this kiss.

Breathlessly he parted, staring at her. Her face wasn't as pale as it had been when he had found her and for the first time her eyes seemed alive again.

"I'm sorry", he started, breathing hard, still his hands on her face. He gulped.

Something inside him broke away and now he needed to say what had been on his mind ever since Laura had moved away. "I'm sorry I let you go. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you today. I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. I'm sorry I never showed how proud I was of you. I'm sorry I didn't give you the chance to help u-"

Laura silenced him by placing her hand on his mouth. Tears shimmering in her eyes, she shook her head. "I'm sorry I ran away", her voice broke.

She looked at the ground to pull herself together. _She needed to say this_.

She lifted her head again and looked into his blue eyes. Again tears started to fall down her face, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you first." She cried, "I'm sorry I said these words to you… I'm _so_ sorry…" her sobbing made it impossible to continue.

Almanzo gulped, not really able to process what just had happened. All he wanted to do right now was holding her close, keeping her safe and warm. He leaned in again, covering her lips with his.

This time Laura responded slowly, touching his face with her uninjured hand. The kisses he now placed on her lips were soft and tender and he felt like he could drown into her.

"I thought you stopped loving me", Laura whispered, caressing his cheek with her thumb.

Almanzo shook his head, "I never could." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, "I knew I could never love anyone else the way I love you and knowing it was my fault that I've lost you, made me wanting to die. I was sure you couldn't love me anymore."

"I wished it. I wished it more than anything in the world that these feelings for you would go away." Laura bent her head, but Almanzo lifted it gently with his fingers.

"I missed you so much," Laura admitted shakily.

He drew Laura close to him once more, burying his face into her soft, sweet smelling hair. He inhaled a deep breath. Could this be true?

_Could hell really be over?_

"I love you", he whispered raspy.

One last tear escapes Laura's eyes as she smiled, "And I love you."

They're lips met again. This time they took all time of the world feeling each other again after all these months.

It was as if they would kiss for the very first time, as Laura ran her hand through his blond hair, his soft mouth teasing hers.

Almanzo parted when he felt her trembling. "Beth," he looked at her, breathing hard, "you are cold."

"No", Laura lied.

"You're shaking!" He slowly stood up, his arm around her to help Laura up. She laid her head against his chest as soon as they were standing and Almanzo embraced her once again. "We gotta get you out of that cold, Beth", he softly said, kissing her on the top of the head.

When Laura loosened her grasp around his waist she felt for the first time how weak she was. Her knees were trembling and she barely managed to stand upright, still not fully recovered from the shock.

"Hey!" Almanzo tightened his grasp around her when he felt that Laura was getting dizzy.

"I just…" Laura narrowed her eyes at the upcoming feeling of giddiness.

"It's alright, I'll carry you."

He gently lifted her up in his arms and Laura put her arms around his neck.

"Ah!" she let out a cry of pain.

"What? What did I do?" Almanzo looked alarmed down at her.

Laura shook her head, "Nothing. I… I touched the wound."

"Do you think it will go?"

Laura lifted her head to meet his gaze and smiled lightly despite the pain, "Yes."

Then she leaned her head against his chest and Almanzo started walking slowly.

Laura didn't know what to feel. She felt ashamed because of what Jason said and did to her. She still was in shock and afraid of what would have happened, if Almanzo wouldn't have shown up. Her hand and wrists hurt.

_But her heart for the first time didn't._

She never wanted to let go of him again. She didn't want to wake up from this dream. She just wanted to stay like this forever.

Almanzo kept one eye on his way and one on Laura. Her eyes were closed and he wondered if she'd fallen asleep. He would understand it. Still now he felt the pulse booming in his ears when he saw with his inner eye how Jason kept and hurt her.

_His Beth_.

That's what she'd been all along. He would never be so foolish again to let her go. _Never._ He knew that they still had to talk things out. But that could wait. Right now there was just her and him and the knowledge that she still loved him.

"Manly?" Laura asked hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Please don't leave me alone?"

"Of course I won't leave you alone", he kissed her hair.

"I don't want to explain my family…" Laura couldn't go on. She didn't even want to think of Jason.

"I'll stay with you, Beth."

"Promise?"

If it wouldn't be for that horrible situation, Almanzo would have smiled at her insecurity.

"I promise."


	5. Approaching

Sorry for the late update :) Christmas and all...

* * *

For the remaining way home both stayed silent, but words weren't needed. Laura listened to Almanzo's heartbeat - the steady pound making her feel calm and warm.

A few metres before Almanzo's reached the little house, the door swung open and Caroline rushed out. "Charles!" she cried back to her husband who had just worked in the kitchen.

"Oh my god! Laura!" She ran to the man who carried her daughter.

Before Almanzo could reply, Charles rushed through the door, "Half-Pint! What happened?!"

Almanzo looked down at Laura who still had nestled her nose into the warm fabric of his coat, before looking back at her parents, "Laura had an, um, … accident. I think it will be best if she could sleep for a while..."

"We need to get Doc Baker!" Caroline looked concerned at her daughter, caressing her hair.

"No… What Laura needs is rest. Believe me." Almanzo looked urgently at her parents. Charles and Caroline glanced at each other, both knowing that even though their engagement may have been broken off, Almanzo would still not want anything bad happen to Laura.

"Alright", Charles answered reluctantly, "I'll carry her to her bedroom."

Just as he was about to reach for Laura, she tightened her grasp on Almanzo and whispered, "No".

Charles and Caroline looked puzzled at Laura then at Almanzo. He tore his gaze off her, "I can carry her inside."

Charles nodded confused and worried, not really having another choice.

Almanzo carefully climbed up to the loft. When Charles wanted to follow him, Caroline touched his arm. He turned questioningly and his wife shook her head. Whatever just has happened, their daughter wanted to have Almanzo on her side right now. They needed to be patient.

He gently sat Laura down on her bed. She grimaced as her wound touched his coat.

"Is it that bad? Maybe it would yet be better to get Doc-"

"No!" Laura interrupted him, "No, it isn't that bad. I just need ... some time", she looked pleadingly at him.

"Alright… But you need to rest. Lay down. I'll talk to your Ma and Pa."

"But I can't rest. These pictures…" Laura's eyes burned and Almanzo put his arms around her. He gently stroked her hair and back.

"I don't want to sleep. When I wake up you will be gone", Laura sobbed.

He looked at her, "But I'll come back."

"And what if not?"

"I'll come back, Beth." He kissed her softly on the lips.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after and the day after…_ I'll be there_."

Laura smiled, "I try to rest" still her brown coat on, Laura moved her legs onto the bed.

"You want me to stay a little longer?"

She hasn't dared to ask but she didn't think she would be able to sleep alone. Laura nodded.

"Alright."

Too tired to get her boots and coat off, Laura just removed the few pins holding her hair up, so she could lie more comfortable.

"I missed seeing your hair down", Almanzo admitted as Laura has laid down with her head on the pillow. She blushed and it made him love her even more. He smiled, "Close your eyes now".

Almanzo gently took her hand in his and then leaned down to give her a little kiss on the lips. Laura opened her eyes. "I'll stay until you're asleep."

She smiled and squeezed his hand before closing her eyes again. The slow circles he drew on her skin made her more and more tired. Only a few minutes later she drifted off to sleep.

Almanzo stayed a little longer to make sure she wouldn't wake up. He stroked her soft auburn hair, brushing a strand away from her mouth. Gently he let go of her hand and covered her with the quilt on her bed.

If it wouldn't be forbidden he would lie down next to her, holding her close to make sure she had a safe sleep. But he'd already stayed longer in her bedroom than it was allowed.

Looking one last time at the woman he loved he forced himself to go. She was asleep now and soon he would see her again.

_It was just the beginning._

Trying to make no noise, he climbed down the ladder. Charles and Caroline expected him.

What should he tell them?

"She's asleep now", Almanzo explained as he had reached the floor.

"Now maybe you like to explain us!" Charles said irritated. It made him angry that something had happened to his daughter and he didn't know what.

Both looked expectantly at the man in front of them.

"I…" he didn't blame Charles for being mad. He would have been too if something would have happened to Laura and nobody told him anything. "I'm not sure what happened. I was in the wood when I heard cries. I ran towards them and then I saw Jason holding Laura…"

"Jason?" Charles asked confused while Caroline encircled his arm, afraid of what they would going to hear.

Almanzo nodded "Jason Coleman. I don't know what happened. He held her and Laura struggled to get free. I charged him to get him away from her… Laura's got a bad wound on her hand. I think somebody should take a look."

Caroline closed her eyes as she imagined what had happened and Charles laid his arm around her waist to console her. Both couldn't really understand what Almanzo just had told them.

"She didn't want to talk about it. That's why I promised her not to do anything about it…"

Her parents nodded. "I can't believe it. What did that bastard say?" Charles asked, his voice full of anger.

"Nothing, sir. I… I punched him before he could say something. I saw Laura and I… I just…"

"It's alright Almanzo", Charles touched his arm with his hand, letting him know that he didn't judge him.

"Thank you", Caroline said shakily with tears in her eyes. She didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if Almanzo wouldn't have been there.

"Is it alright if I… would look after Laura tomorrow?" he asked unsure. Ever since they had broken off their engagement, he didn't know how her parents thought about him.

"Of course Almanzo", Charles smiled lightly.

"Well, I best be going then… Goodbye Mrs. Ingalls, Mr. Ingalls. It wouldn't be very appropriate to wish you a Merry Christmas…"


	6. In the middle of the night

When Laura awaked, she slowly sat up, confused about still wearing her coat and shoes.

Until the memories hit her.

She closed her eyes again. _Why did she let him go?_ Yesterday they've been in an exceptional situation – they've been washed away by all their feelings. Almanzo certainly wouldn't think about their relationship the same way he did yesterday. She was sure about it.

The night will have everything erased from his mind and heart, and she would be alone again.

_Why did she let him go?_

Even though it was still dark and everybody slept soundly, Laura stood up as carefully as possible and climbed down the loft. Suddenly she felt very thirsty. She had to stifle a cry as she touched the ladder with her hand – not remembering her aching wound.

She walked into the kitchen and scooped herself some cold water into her cup.

Caroline opened her eyes slowly, her arm still around Charles waist. She thought she had heard something. Carefully she removed the arm from her husband and climbed over him. Reaching the floor, she found her daughter standing in the kitchen.

Caroline rushed to her, relieved she had finally woken up. "Laura!" she whispered, embracing her. Then she took her face into her hands and kissed her daughter.

"I'm sorry I woke you Ma, I just-"

Caroline shook her head energetically: "I'm just so glad you're safe, Laura." She kissed her again. Then she remembered what Almanzo had told them earlier that afternoon and took her hand into hers.

"Oh Laura! That looks bad." She lifted her head to look at her. She wanted to know how it had happened, but she knew it would be too soon to ask her daughter. "I have to clean and bandage it. Sit down." With that she vanished into the kitchen, searching for an ointment.

When she had found everything she needed, Caroline sat down on the chair next to Laura and began to clean the wound with a wet piece of cloth. Laura sucked in her breath at the pain.

"I'm sorry Laura, but I have to clean it."

"I know, Ma", Laura forced a smile and looked gratefully at her mother. But her thoughts wandered off to Almanzo.

As if Caroline could read her thoughts, she said: "I'm so glad Almanzo was in the forest yesterday."

Laura nodded lightly.

"But it must have been uncomfortable for you that he was the one who helped you. I'm sorry you-"

"Oh no", Laura interrupted her, then she looked at her skirt. Should she really tell this her Ma? Something she didn't even understand herself? She looked up again. "I don't think I would have felt saver with anybody else", she admitted finally.

Caroline smiled and touched her daughter's cheek. When she'd seen Laura in his arms, she'd looked as if she would never want to let him go.

"Oh Ma, I don't know what to do!" It finally broke out of her. "I still love him!" She felt how her eyes were getting wet.

"I know."

"What? But I never talked about him."

"Laura", Caroline now started to bandage her hand, "you have loved him from the very first moment you saw him. And you have continued to love him even while he didn't seem to return your feelings. You didn't even stop loving him when he moved to Sleepy Eye." She wiped a tear away from Laura's cheek. "Instead your love for him kept getting stronger and stronger. Didn't it?"

Laura nodded crying.

"I knew that your fight wouldn't change that. One fight can't erase all the feelings inside your heart."

"But I'm afraid."

"Of what?" she covered Laura's heal hand with hers.

"That yesterday had only been an exception… That the feeling of intimacy will be gone today…"

"What did you feel when he saved you? When he carried you?"

Laura moved her shoulders up and down, "Saved…"

"Why?"

"Because…because I felt loved."

Her Ma smiled. "You know the answer yourself, Laura. You two will have to go through a difficult time, but your love will lead you."

A little smile appeared on her face. Maybe her Ma was right. Maybe they two had still a chance.

"Thank you Ma."

"Why don't you go to bed again? I'll help you to pull your clothes and shoes off."


	7. A New Start

Almanzo slowed down as the Ingalls place came into view. He had given her the promise to come, and he wanted to keep it, but he was afraid of what this day would bring to their relationship. Yesterday everything had seemed possible, but yesterday she'd needed him. What if someone else would have helped her? Would she have relied on this person like she had on him?

Today was Christmas but he didn't feel like that at all. It always used to be a calm day since he lived together with his sister. _Calm but nice_. Last year had been different. Very different. _Because of her._ Charles had invited him to celebrate Christmas with them and having Beth in his arms on this day was more than he had ever dreamt of. _It was perfect._ Everything had felt so right and warm. He had been already treated like a member of the family and Laura's love was the most wonderful gift he had ever received.

But today was different. He hasn't told his sister yet what had happened yesterday and their celebration had been a silent one. He supposed Eliza Jane sensed that something was going on in his head but wanted to give him the time to tell her. All he had ever been thinking of since he'd left Laura yesterday was how today would going to be…

Laura was lost in her thoughts while her siblings around her played with the gifts they had received today. She sat on one of the chairs, not paying attention to what was happening in the living room. Now it was already afternoon and still Almanzo hasn't shown up. Maybe he wouldn't come. She should prepare herself for that possibility. For the possibility that when she had left Walnut Grove in August she had also lost the last chance to have him by her side.

A knock on the door ripped Laura out of her thoughts. Her heartbeat fastened immediately. _It couldn't be him!_ Nervous she followed her Pa with her eyes as he walked to the door to open it.

"Almanzo", he smiled.

"Uh, Merry Christmas, Mr. Ingalls."

Before glancing at Laura, Caroline stood up to join her husband, "Merry Christmas, Almanzo", she smiled at him. The tension on her daughter's face was obvious and so it was on Almanzo's.

"Uh, I, I just wanted to look how Laura's doing", he was feeling like he had felt that day before Laura's sixteenth birthday, when he had been forced to confess her father having feelings for her.

"Sure", Charles showed him to step in.

"Hi Almanzo", Albert and Carrie greeted him. Both had missed him since Laura had moved away. They had never quite known how to act around him in town. For them it had been clear that he would marry their sister and become their brother in-law and both have been happy about that, but suddenly everything had been different.

He smiled at them, "Hi Carrie, Albert." He hadn't completely realized how he had missed spending time with Laura's siblings until that moment.

Eventually he looked at Laura.

"Hi", she greeted him with a hesitantly smile on her face.

"Hi, Laura. Are you … are you feeling better today?"

Before Laura got the chance to reply, Caroline rushed to them, "She's still harassed. I'm sure fresh air would do her some good, but Charles and I have to fix something in the kitchen. Wouldn't you be so nice to take her for a little walk, Almanzo?"

Charles couldn't help but grin while he watched his wife. She had always loved to interfere in love-matters.

"Oh, uh, sure."

Laura looked surprised at her mother. She was afraid of being alone with him and yet she didn't want anything more than that.

"I'll get your coat, dear", Ma smiled at her daughter.

Almanzo held the door open for Laura and closed it as soon as they bod had stepped out.

Feeling uncomfortable, Laura fiddled with the bandage on her hand. He hasn't even called her Beth today.

"Does it still hurt?" Almanzo asked as soon as he was beside her.

She lifted her head, "Uh, no. As long as the bandage is on it, I don't even feel it."

"That's good … How…how did you sleep?" _What kind of question was that? How could she have slept well?_ Almanzo rolled his eyes at himself.

"Not very well... I woke up early and then I wasn' able to sleep again. Too many things went through my mind…"

"I understand that… I hope the memories will let go of you tonight… I didn't sleep well myself either." They walked towards the creek.

"Why not?" Laura looked curiously at him.

Almanzo met her gaze, "Do you think I could sleep soundly when I know you're going through hell?"

His words shot right through her heart and it stopped beating for one moment. Laura blushed, "Uh, I … I don't know." she replied honestly, looking down at the ground again.

It somehow hurt him that she couldn't feel his love for her. Hasn't he made it clear in all the time they had been together? And hasn't he made it clear yesterday?

"Well, I don't", Almanzo now stopped, "Laura," he sighed, _why couldn't she just look into his heart?_ "Don't you believe that I meant what I said yesterday?" his blue eyes looked pleadingly at her.

"Yesterday was an exceptional situation…" she started hesitantly.

"Yeah it was. It was concerning what happened but not concerning my feelings towards you."

Laura just looked at him. She wished she could believe it all and forget everything. But she couldn't. She didn't want to hope and then hear how her heart scattered once again. "Your feelings haven't changed?" she asked with a thin voice, afraid of the answer.

"Of course they have!" Laura stopped breathing for one moment as she heard these words. Almanzo made one step towards her and took her hand into his, "We have been through so much already. How could I love you as much as I did at the very beginning? You mean more to me every day that passes."

Tears were shimmering in her eyes, "Then why haven't you said so back then?"

"Because I thought you wouldn't love me anymore."

"But haven't I told you so?!" she whisked her hand away from his hold.

"Yeah, and then you _left_!"

"You left me too! You moved to Sleepy Eye!"

"But just because I wanted to marry you! Share my life with you!"

"And I just moved away so I could earn money to marry you sooner!"

Almanzo got ready to reply as he suddenly stopped. _This was ridiculous! Why were they yelling at each other?_ He sighed and rubbed his face before looking at her again.

"Laura, this is stupid. Why are we screaming when we're saying that we still love each other?"

"I … I don't know", Laura sat down on the big rock next to the frozen lake and hid her face in her hands. She was so tired. _Tired of everything._

Almanzo knelt down in front of her and gently moved her hands away from her face, keeping them in his hold. Surprised by his touch, Laura looked unsure at him.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you", he nearly whispered.

"I started it."

He shook his head, "That doesn't matter." He carefully let go of her injured hand and wiped her tears away with his thumb, "Not after what happened yesterday."

Why was he taking the blame? "You were the one who _saved _me", Laura replied insistently.

"It nearly ripped my heart out when I saw you", Almanzo tried to swallow away the lump in his throat, "Nobody is hurting the woman I love."

A small smile curled Laura's lips. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face into the warmth of it. Almanzo immediately put his arms around her to bring her even closer and he closed his eyes. She was all he wanted to feel right now.

"I was so angry with myself", he started with a raspy voice, "Angry I wasn't there to prevent all this", he admitted to her.

Laura loosened her hold around him and after looking into his eyes, she leaned down to kiss him.

"You were the only one I would have wanted to see", she whispered.

Almanzo smiled, "Would you promise me never to leave my side from now on so I can always take care of you, Beth?"

"You called me Beth again." New tears were falling from Laura's eyes as her smile widened. "I would even promise never to leave your arms from now on."

"I like that one even better", he smiled crookedly at her before capturing her lips in several soft, tender kisses.

"Beth?" Their foreheads touched as they parted, "Would you marry me?"

Laura smiled, "Are you still sure you want to spend your life with me?"

"I have no life without you", he captured her lips again to underline his statement.

"I guess we gotta go back. It's getting awfully cold", Almanzo started to worry since Laura was still a little weak since yesterday. He stood up and took her hand to help her up.

Suddenly it hit Almanzo that their lives would change completely since they were engaged again, "You think we should tell your folks right away?" he asked unsure of how they would react to this. Would they still accept him after all that had happened this summer?

"I guess they already know, Manly", Laura replied with a little mischievous smile on her face.

_Oh how he had missed seeing that..._

* * *

**The End** (...of a new beginning)


End file.
